Forgetting the Feeling of Love

It has been a couple of days or even months. You pull out your phone. You click on your messages. You open the messages you had sent him. So many messages and all left on read. You have that little hope that he may reply to this one.

You type the words and you click send. You patiently wait for him to reply. Hours and days pass and yet he has not replied to you. You have given him the benefit of doubt and forget about it.

A couple of days later you message him again.

This time he replies to you and you guys make small talk. The chat does not seem like anything interesting it just seems like any normal chat you could have with anyone. But you feel so happy. You feel this spark when you get a message from him.

You forget about all the times he has never replied to you. You forget the fact that you have not seen him in a while. You forget about all the times he has hurt you.

You scroll and look through his photos and you admire each one. It has been three years and he still looks the same you tell yourself. His blonde hair is still the same. His blue eyes are still the same. They speak to you just like they did before. As you scroll through his photos you feel like nothing has changed. But everything has changed.

You have gotten so stuck on him. You have forgotten the feeling of love. You have forgotten that if someone wants you they will make time for you. You have forgotten that if someone likes you they will make you feel like you are there first choice. You have forgotten that if someone likes you they will try to see you as much as they can.

You have never given yourself the chance to let go of him. You have never given the time to think about the ones around you who truly want you in there life. You have never looked as to why the relationship did not work out in the first place. You have been so caught up with him you do not know how to love someone else.

Loving someone new can be challenging because you thought you were in love with him. However it didn’t work out with him. Your picture of love has now turned abstract. You do not know how to love anymore. You feel confused and hurt.