How to rebuild broken trust in a relationship/ marriage

1. Apologise. Don’t justify why you did wrong or blame your partner for why you did wrong.

2. Forgive your partner. Even when you don’t feel like forgiving or you are still mad. Speak it and you shall become it.

3. If you are the one who broke the trust, do things that demonstrate you have changed. Call your partner more, come home earlier than before, help out in the house, listen, cut off the connections that ruined the love you two have.

4. Be open with your phone. A lot of trust is broken due to phones. If you still seem uncomfortable and defensive with your phone, trust will be hard to regain.

5. Be accountable. Let your partner know who you are with and for how long. Get to know each other’s friends. Openness and transparency reinforces trust.

6. Allow an environment where you two can speak about your feelings without fighting.

7. Be honest, even if the truth hurts. It will help dealing with issues once and for all. If you keep lying to avoid difficult conversations, issues drag on.

8. Spend more time together even if you two will struggle to talk or be in silence, get used to each other’s presence.

9. Look back at your old pictures and videos together, reminisce.

10. Don’t keep scores of how much wrong each of you have done or claim your wrongs are less. Doing so will be constantly sentencing your partner and you will make no progress.

11. If you are the one who was offended the most, don’t keep reminding your partner of what he/she did wrong. You cannot bring about healing if you are stuck in the past.

12. Do fun things together. Play competitive games, watch a comedy or animation. Laugh.

13. Find other things to talk about besides the hurtful things that happened. Go out on dates. Make new memories.

14. Appreciate each other and compliment each other. Highlight what is good in each of you. The more you praise each other, the more motivated you both will become.

15. Cuddle and hold each other more on your marriage bed. Don’t rush into sex. Focus on emotional intimacy more than sexual intimacy.

16. Pray together. It will help you heal.

17. Be patient. Rebuilding trust takes time but you two will get there.