Sex: How To Teach Your Millennial Abstinence

Especially African parents believe in ignoring and shielding when it comes to sex and their children. First they ignore you questions then when it time to talk about it, they tell you vague things like “if you touch a woman or if a man touch you its pregnancy” What exactly is touch?

They move on touch threats when it’s time to tell a girl to abstain from sex. They threaten her with hell fire as Christians. What gets me is how they tell a girl that the reason she should remain a Virgin is because of her husband and how he will value her more. We tell young girls how men will worship the ground they walk on if they remain virgins but then their curiosity gets stronger and all the above doesn’t hold water to them after a while. Especially when the same men you ask them to stay chaste for are the ones telling them “if you love me you’ll do it, you’ll give it to me”

So here is what to tell them to ensure they abstain from sex: 

First let them know that abstinence from sex is for them. Not for any man or any woman to appreciate them. A lot of women go into marriage as virgins and they are shocked that the husbands don’t actually value them for just being virgins. Stop telling young girls that virginity is what will make men value them. Tell them to remain chaste for their own good. Their own peace of mind because you can go through life as a young lady without worry. You won’t be thinking “will he leave me now that we’ve had sex” “am i pregnant” “Do I have STD”. It gives you peace of mind.

Also, let them know having sex comes with consequences and in some cases risk. Let them understand that having sex comes with pregnancy, STDs, STIs. Sex comes with worries of if your partner will stay or walk away and sometimes abortion for uninformed people and sometimes ruptured uterus and some cases death.

Also tell then that abstinence is safe because cutting corners by using birth control is dangerous because some leads to infertility and birth control don’t protect from diseases.

Let your children know that it takes maturity to deal with the consequences of sex and no teenager should be bothered with such huge burden. The burden of worrying about late period or a girl coming to tell you she missed period or burden of dealing with infections and treating diseases or to say the least pregnant and a teen. How does a baby take care of a baby or provide for one. The burden of resenting yourself or each other is too much of a burden for any teenager to live with.

Take your time to explain to your teenagers that having sex should be a decision they make of their own free will as a matured person with a matured mind ready to deal with the outcome of sex when they are in the right relationship (marriage).

Don’t lie to them that it is a sin or threaten them with hell or how hierarchy marriage won’t work out if they have sex. Let them know sex is beautiful but it was created for a reason. Making teenagers see sex as bad would affect their mind set later on, especially girls. Let them know where the line I’d drawn. It’s is good but it is not meant for you because it comes with lots of responsibilities not meant for young people